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Hitting the 3 year mark with Scott means I’ve learned a few relationship lessons along the way. It’s weird to think back on a time when we weren’t together because he’s easily one of the most important parts of my life. We’re such a great team together and at the end of the day, he’s my very best friend.
Although 3 years isn’t really that many in the grand scheme of things, we’ve still been through so much during that time. We’ve moved from a group house in DC to an apartment in MD, then buying a house in MD, and now we just moved to an apartment in VA. Scott’s changed jobs twice. I started this blog. We’ve gone from planning where our next date is going to be to planning out our lives together. And I’ll be the first to admit that we’re not perfect and still have plenty we could work on or make better, but we’ve developed a great partnership and laid a solid foundation for our future.
I’m certainly no expert, but through this time together I feel like there are 3 big relationship lessons I’ve learned that I think are worth sharing.
1. Don’t Expect Them To Read Your Mind
I’ll be honest, this is something I still work on. It’s hard to not have this expectation they’ll pick up on your vibes and thoughts. It can also be hard because sometimes pointing something out that you want them to do or say feels like it ruins in. For example, if you want him to get you a surprise treat because he knows you had a hard day, but pointing it out ruins the sweet gesture. I get it.
However, it’s unfair to expect anyone to read your mind or know what you want. Maybe with time they’ll figure it out better, but being direct is always going to be your best bet. Take the time to let someone know that on your bad days, a little treat really helps pick you up. Be clear with what you want and you’re SO much more likely to get it.
2. Don’t Compare Your Relationship To Other Relationships
It can be really hard to see everyone’s relationship around you, either people you know in real life or what you see on TV, and not play the comparison game. The truth is, you don’t know what’s really going on within that relationship, and it’s not fair to compare someone else’s highlights to your everyday, real life. It’s not a level playing field.
It’s something that takes time to work on, and it’s hard in the world of social media. But try not to let the relationships you see around you define what you think yours should be like. Only the two of you know if you’re happy within your relationship.
I wrote a post on this called 5 Ways #RelationshipGoals Are Ruining Your Relationship if you’d like to read more on this topic.
3. Date Your Best Friend
I don’t mean you need to run out and date your current best friend, but I think it’s really important to have a solid friendship within your relationship. Maybe you started out as friends, or you didn’t and you build it up while you’re dating. Either way, maintaining a friendship is important to any relationship.
It means you can make each other laugh over anything, have fun doing nothing, aren’t afraid to be honest, look out for what’s best for each other, feel comfortable being yourself. All the components that make up a friendship should be at the core of your relationship. Life can be really hard, you need someone to laugh through it all with, you know?
I hope whether you’re in a relationship or single, these give you some insight on some key things to keep in mind when dating. And if you have any important relationship lessons you’ve learned, I’d absolutely love for you to share them in the comments below!
Congrats on three years! Thanks for the advice I’ll have to try remember these things in my own relationship.
🙂 Thank you so much! And you’re so welcome, I hope it helps!
!00% agree with these! I’ll have been with my boyfriend for 3 years this December and honestly cannot relate to these 3 lessons more!
I’m so glad! Thank you for reading! Happy early anniversary, any plans on celebrating the occasion?
Congratulations on 3 years – there was some brilliant advice in this post! x
Han | lifewithhan.blog
Thank you so much 🙂
100% Agree with your list here. Especially the not comparing your relationship to other relationships. Each relationship has its own heartbeat and what makes it strong isn’t the same as what might make someone else’s strong!
I am truly thankful that I found my husband when I did and now we are about to venture into parenting together. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this! Great advice!
~ Ray
Thank you for reading, Ray! Absolutely love what you said “each relationship has its own heartbeat,” what a beautiful way to put it! You’re so right. And congratulations on becoming parents!!