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I used to feel ALL the Valentine’s Day pressure. Both when I was single, and while in relationships.
If I was single, I felt pressure to be in a relationship. I felt bad that I wasn’t in one, that I didn’t have a *special someone* to spend the day with and ~celebrate~ our love. That it was my fault, something was wrong with me, and I should be taking part in this amazing day of love like everyone else. Even though I wanted to be single and had no interest in a relationship, this time of year made me feel that way.
If I was in a relationship, honestly the pressure was even worse. I had to make a big deal on Valentine’s Day. I had to give and receive the big romantic gestures. Big gifts. Over the top dinner. Love letters. Chocolate. Flowers. The whole shebang. That if I didn’t receive these things, something was wrong with my relationship. We were doomed. Destined to fail.
BUT
The older I get, the more I relieve myself of these unnecessary pressures I used to feel. Currently, I am in a pretty dang great relationship (not perfect, don’t be fooled). And I am not someone who wants to do the whole big Valentine’s Day thing. Really, I don’t. It’s not something that makes me feel loved, or brings Scott and I closer, cause he’s not that into it either. Every relationship is different, and that’s just how we are. We’re so much more low key, and doing a whole big thing isn’t really our style.
Now, this is by no means a dig at any one who wants or does those things. The point I’m trying to make is that everyone and every relationship is different. Just because the couple over there is celebrating with a big romantic gesture, doesn’t mean you have to too, unless you’re into that. Every commercial and ad out there during this time of year is about ALL THINGS ROMANCE. You don’t have to feel the pressure of all of that! If that’s not you’re thing, that’s totally okay! Don’t feel down about things you didn’t even want anyways.
My ideal Valentine’s Day? A few pieces of nice chocolate, a card, and a kiss on the cheek. A dinner if we have time. Not a dinner if we’re too busy. No added pressure or stress because we deal with enough of that as it is. My perfect Valentine’s Day entails whatever we’re up for that particular day, and that’s about it. If we’re feeling a chill night on the couch, sounds good to me. If we’re into a fancy dinner, that’s cool too. I want to do whatever we WANT to do, and nothing we feel forced or pressure to do. I don’t want to feel bad about our decision, and I don’t need to!
I hope you can alleviate that pressure for yourself as well, because truly it’s a waste of your energy. Do what you enjoy, don’t do what you feel you *should* be doing. Single or in a relationship! Don’t let what everyone else is doing lead to a comparison of what you’ve got going on. Only YOU can decide what’s right and what makes you happiest, and that’s all that matters!
In summary, you do you. That’s all.
PS – Happy Valentine’s Day, if you’re into that kinda thing 🙂
PPS – Don’t forget to hit up Target 2/15 for that clearance candy!!
