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Does your significant other have the Physical Touch Love Language? In this post I’m sharing a bunch of ideas to give you a jumping off point on how to make your Physical Touch partner feel loved and supported.
Click here to read more Love Language ideas!
If you haven’t already read The 5 Love Languages, I highly recommend picking up the copy. Great and easy read, and good for both you and your significant other to read.
Quick summary – we each have a Love Language. This is how we feel the most loved and supported, and how we need our partner to show us love. When we don’t receive love in this manner, we tend to feel unhappy in the relationship. Learning to speak your partner’s Love Language and have them speak yours is the best way to have a happy and healthy relationship!
The Physical Touch Love Language is pretty simple to understand – they like to be touched! There are lots of different ways you can incorporate more touches into the relationship, and I’m sharing a bunch of them in the list below.
If you’re not a Physical Touch person, it might be a little uncomfortable or unnatural for you to start incorporating these touches into your relationships. If anything truly makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it.
If they feel just a little awkward though, maybe try to keep on trying those. I think with time, they will start to feel a lot more natural and comfortable the more you do them. Just think of it as a new habit you’re working to develop.
It’s important to keep boundaries and comfort levels with increasing physical touch because you don’t want to cross their boundary line or your own, that does no one any good. Communication is key.
Don’t be afraid to ask what type of touches your partner enjoys and what they do not want. In addition to figuring out what they’re comfortable with, you of course have to figure out what makes them feel the most loved.
If you’ve read my previous posts about Love Languages, this may sound familiar to you, so feel free to skim!
I highly suggest asking them what kind of touch makes them feel the happiest and most loved, and hopefully they can provide you with an answer. Then it’s up to you to make that conscious effort and turn it into a habit that you do often, so they feel loved.
However, they may not know what kind of touch they prefer. In this case, I suggest trying out a few of the ideas below. Maybe some stick out at you as ones you think would work, or maybe you just pick a few at random. Try them out over the course of a few days or weeks, and see which they respond to the best.
If you’re still not sure, then maybe after trying them all you can ask them. Not immediately after you touch them, that’s a surefire way to ruin a moment.
At the end of the week after trying a bunch, sit them down and tell them that you’ve been really trying to incorporate more Physical Touch into your relationship, and it would be helpful to know what makes them feel the most loved so you can keep on doing that!
They might not be able to answer you, so you might have to judge it for yourself. Keep trying new things here and there, and try to pick up on reactions they have to it. Their reaction might not even be immediate, so you just need to be aware. It’s all a process!
As I’ve suggested in previous posts, set alarms for yourself. If Physical Touch isn’t a habit you have already, set yourself regular silent alarms, so that you have your own private reminder to include a touch either then and there, or later in the day.
Do not have it be an audible alarm and then you go and touch them, it can come across very disingenuous. Just a silent reminder that only you see. Hopefully over time you no longer need these reminders, and you’ve developed the habit.
This list is shorter than the other ones because truly there are only so many different ways you can touch someone. The gist of it is to start incorporating little touches here and there, and they easily fit in during any interaction with your partner.
Physical Touch Love Language Ideas:
- Holding their hand while you’re in the car
- Back rubs before you get out of bed
- A kiss or hug hello
- Play with their hair
- Snuggle up together on the couch when you’re watching a show
- Back scratches when they’re feeling stressed
- A hug from behind when they’re cooking of cleaning in the kitchen
- Putting your arm around them at the movie theater
- A little touch of some kind when you walk past them
- When you’re out together, place your hand on the small of their back
- A kiss or hug goodbye
- Holding hands during a hike together
- PDA – whatever the two of you are comfortable with
- A high five to celebrate little accomplishments and wins
- Put your head on their lap while you’re watching tv together on the couch (or vice versa)
- Play footsie during meals together
- Plan a night in together where you give them a massage
- When they’re working on something or reading, go over and give them a kiss on the cheek
- A long hug, where you let them decide when it’s over
- Sit on the same side during meals and hold hands or do little touches here and there
- Holding hands or linking arms when you’re walking somewhere
- Spontaneous kisses
- Putting your hand in their back pocket while you’re walking together
- Initiating touch with them, not just receiving
- Subtle touches when you’re having a conversation
- Squeezing their hand a little while holding hands
- When in line for something, a hug from behind or rubbing their arm
- Sit close together
- Resting your head on their shoulder
- Caress their arm while you’re chatting
- Slow dancing together
- Little tickles here and there
- Rubbing their back when they’re going through a hard time
- Taking a long walk together and holding hands
- Cook together, and touch them here and there during cooking
- A hand or foot massage
- Back scratches while you’re in bed
- Inviting them over to the couch to cuddle with you
- Playing with their fingers while you hold hands
- Spontaneous hugs
With the Physical Touch Love Language, you just need to start incorporating little touches here and there as much as you can. Any time you’re interacting or with your significant other, think of different ways to touch them within those interactions. It really is as simple as that for most.
Try out different ideas, see what they respond to, and ask them what they like. You’ll end up with a good idea of the different ways to touch them, and know exactly what you need to start creating a habit for.
I do suggest reading the book if you haven’t already, or picking up a copy for your significant other. It’s great for getting a better understanding of each Love Language and how important they are for a healthy and happy relationship!
Click here to read more Love Language ideas!
